Is Solomon giving us an excuse to go looking for a lover in the dark of night? Is this a call to follow our lust? By no means is this a call to live a carnal live. Look at what is happening and who is being sought? Would a watchman be consulted if you were sneaking about? Would it be natural for a woman of Solomon’s day to go walking about the city at night? This woman is desperately in love and she desired to find this love above all else.

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 3:5  Love should only be sought in God’s time. Many people feel sad or despairing so they seek out love on their own accord. When we take love into our own hand we pervert God’s perfect love and craft it into a flawed and broken creation. We must wait for God’s timing for love. “You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!” Song of Solomon 4:9,10

A true love is purely captivating to us but false love will only satisfy us for a moment and leave us in want of more. God is the author of love and He has woven love into the heart of mankind. We desire love but we must be vigilant to watch what captivates our eyes and heart so that we are not led astray. Will you wait for God to provide his perfect love for you? Will you join the passionate pursuit for God? As we think of how this bride and bridegrooms love for each other we are given a view into God’s love for us. Do you pursue God in such a way as this bride sought out her bridegroom? Will you go to any length to reach God? I challenge you to love God above every other thing in your life. Will you?

Lord, You know my heart right now and I ask for your help and intervention in this time. I know you are Holy and Just Lord and I ask for peace. You are more than able to accomplish this and I thank You now for that.

It is too easy for me to just brush off this time where I am moved to pray but how can I not pray when deep in my heart I know people need God’s help. It reminds me of times when I am driving and I see a Flight for Life helicopter flying overhead. I always get choked up and I start praying for wisdom for the crew, doctors, nurses, and the patient. I thank God that my heart has become tender and open to these situations and I pray that I may continue to draw closer to God.

I also am a little ashamed that I think of the sacrifices to be so barbaric and bloody because at the center of my faith is a very violent and bloody event. When Jesus Christ died on the cross for the sins of the world it was a horrid and painful event. Thankfully it happened because I would be lost otherwise. How blessed I am.

How often do I express my desire to know God more to God? It is all too easy to share my struggles and lack of hunger for my relationship with God at times with my friends. Does it really matter that I tell them that? Absolutely not. I need to talk to God about my relationship with Him. It is like a person struggles in a relationship and they talk to every random person on the street but never to the person who they are having the problem with. I love how Moses found favor in God’s sight and God knows his name. What a thought that is that a small insignificant being can find favor in the Creator God’s sight! Do I find that kind of favor? I think that in my own flesh I do not and never will. I am evil to my core but through Jesus Christ I do find that favor and freedom. Also I know that my name is written in God’s book of life and I can relish in that fact.

Imagine the awe and splendor Moses saw when he saw but a glimpse of the glory of God when he was hide in the cleft of the rock! Wow! And the name of God, ‘The Lord, the compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth, who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the forth generations.” God is holy and reading through the new testament reminds me of how unable I am to approach god because of my inherent sin. I want to jump ahead to the the good new, the Gospels but I need to see and ponder the sinfulness that is me first.

I feel like my life is being lived on the precipice of change and I never cross the threshold of change. It’s a complete and total lie that I am not moving forward in my life. I am finishing my bachelor of science degree which is something I thought I would never do. I am getting healthier even in the midst of my surgical setbacks. I miss the friends that i made at the gym and the rush I get from working out. I know that I will have at least 4-6 months of hard work to get back to where I was in early December. I am kind of worried about where my life is going to lead after I graduate. All I know is that God’s desire and will for me right now is to finish school and get healthier. What appears to be an unknown void ahead in my life is just my misguided focus of what matters and that is knowing Jesus died for me and my life is free because of Him. Can I life my life in that truth knowing that God is able to do all things through me? It is not whatever I want but what ever His will is. When all else fails around me and there seems to be no safe haven in my rough sea to whom or what will I turn? I know that I will cling to God because of His proven faithfulness.

Am I enjoying my life right now? I have to actually say that I really love my life right now because I know who I am in Christ. I am slowly after failure learning what it means to be a biblical man and that is a great encouragement to me. I am in that wonderful place again where I want to minister to other people and not hide in my own circumstances. My time with God has been growing and fostering a renewed passion where I find myself content and my cup is over flowing. I find myself concerned more for the things of God and my heart is tender to Him and it is encouraging. I look forward to the next months that lay ahead of me. Everything is unknown to me but I can rest because I know who holds all the parts of my life together. God is the Lord of the Dance as Steven Curtis Chapman puts it and I am just dancing my way through all that I find in my path no matter what it is.