So….. I went to the doctor today. Lets just say that everyone there was surprised to see me today. I had an appointment on tuesday and upon leaving then everything was looking great. Today is a new day indeed. After they were over the shock that my foot was moving the doctor tried to figure out what was happening to my foot. the first x-ray showed that everything looked great. Well that was a bit puzzling since I knew that my foot was moving. Next we did a different x-ray called a “stress x-ray” (from the hame you can infer that it is a tid bit painful) which was able to show that the fusion has indeed failed. Continue Reading…
Tag Archive - Painful Moments
A long road with my Lord through a valley of despair
Sleep is no escape from lost hope and uncertainty
I fell asleep last night after the stress of finding out my surgery failed. Sleep was a haven for me last night. As I fell deep asleep there were no fears, doubts, worries, or anguish in my mind. I was adrift in the peace of my mind… It was kind of pleasant…
Then I woke up and the peace was obliterated by the in rush of reality. I was still here with a totally messed up foot and a lot of uncertainty.
So that is the situation I find myself in today.
One really bad night tonight akin to a hellish wilderness in winter
Tonight I am at an all time low. Back in February I had an operation where my left ankle and foot were fused together. It had a 70 % chance of working and it failed. Tonight I went to ice my ankle which was hurting. I realized that my foot was moving and it should never move. So what is next, I don’t know. I am weary and tired of all of my health problems. I know deep down that everything that happens in my life is for a reason and it is for the glory of God. Why would God choose me as his tool? I am not sure. All I can say is that God is in control. I am in despair right now yet hopeful that I know that this is all God ordained.
Reality of change within the snow globe of life
Why? How? What do I do? Your once peaceful life gets trashed by things that you have no control over. That driver speeding down the highway, the cancer that was in remission, the spouse who left you alone with children and in debt, or that small wound that turned into a raging deadly infection are just a limited few of those life disrupting events.
We all have times when we have our lives trashed. I’ve been living through one event for the last 4 years. It is like someone picked up my snow globe off the shelf and shook it up. After the shake up I don’t recognize anything around me. Continue Reading…
Why does pain have to hurt so much
I have finally gotten to the point where I can do a little walking on the foot and ankle that were fused together. There was a 30 percent chance that the fusion would be a total failure even 6 months after the surgery. So with that in mind, you can understand that I am a little worried about my foot. If there is a failure it could mean amputation down the road. My calf is wasting away due to my ankle never moving again and it hurts. To top it off my ankle is swollen and feels like there is a drill bit drilling through it… The only thought that brings me joy is knowing Christ endured more pain than I will ever know.
Continue Reading…
Life keeps rolling to the tune of Charcot Neuropathic Joint
Well, it is amazing to see that God is not done with me yet. I don’t understand what is happening! Time after time I end up needing a major surgery! I know that God is in control of all of this, and that is where I find my strength. Yet why does God desire to use me to bring glory to Himself.
My Valentine’s day 2006 will be spent having my foot and ankle fused together! It is hard to be facing such a long road of recovery. I just found out two weeks ago that I have Charcot Neuropathic Joint, it basically means that my foot will break down. So….. I am having surgery to help prevent any more break down.
I feel like I have a lot to tell but no way to express it. Continue Reading…
