I am a ragamuffin in this world. I have no hope in myself. I think about all the dreams and hopes that I used to have for my life, and I think I will never know them. I feel like I am caught in a cycle of illness and despair with no way out except when God wills it. I am scared.
The Bible says that God is doing everything for my good. I believe that to be true. It is another thing to know it in your heart. Over the last 4 years of continued set backs I have come to know that God is doing something, but how is this for my good. What future can be found in the midst of this. I know that this world is not my home but I pray that God will grant me peace, rest, and joy in this life. My heart aches right now. Continue Reading…
Tag Archive - God’s Faithfulness
Soo… Yeah, life still sucks… Yet, I am fine? (A rant to God)
A long road with my Lord through a valley of despair
So….. I went to the doctor today. Lets just say that everyone there was surprised to see me today. I had an appointment on tuesday and upon leaving then everything was looking great. Today is a new day indeed. After they were over the shock that my foot was moving the doctor tried to figure out what was happening to my foot. the first x-ray showed that everything looked great. Well that was a bit puzzling since I knew that my foot was moving. Next we did a different x-ray called a “stress x-ray” (from the hame you can infer that it is a tid bit painful) which was able to show that the fusion has indeed failed. Continue Reading…
Why does pain have to hurt so much
I have finally gotten to the point where I can do a little walking on the foot and ankle that were fused together. There was a 30 percent chance that the fusion would be a total failure even 6 months after the surgery. So with that in mind, you can understand that I am a little worried about my foot. If there is a failure it could mean amputation down the road. My calf is wasting away due to my ankle never moving again and it hurts. To top it off my ankle is swollen and feels like there is a drill bit drilling through it… The only thought that brings me joy is knowing Christ endured more pain than I will ever know.
Continue Reading…
What is this thing we call life
Sometimes it seems that people take their life for granted. How do we measure “life”. Is it a board game where we are all racing to get to the finish so we can die! I sure hope not. When you live within the realm of reality life takes a huge toll. Oh how I wish things were simple and could be changed by spinning the wheel of a life. To know that two steps forward would bring health and happiness. Yet how true to form is the chaos of that unknown world we live in. Oh if you knew the depths of pain and joy within the game of life I play. Yet I keep spinning away knowing Him who set-up my game of life.
A fusion of the body
Well, life is interesting. I am recovering from my surgery. It is hard to have to keep off my feet. I have had my left foot and ankle fused together. Time will tell if things work out. My God is all that is keeping me together, many of the doctors and nurses wonder how I keep such a positive attitude. I know it is all due to God. Well life goes on. And to God be the Glory. Oh yeah… there is my foot!
