Back on February 15th I started a blog on why? It is still a question that is in the forefront of my mind. At that time I was walking around and oblivious to the future surgery I faced only months away. How did God allow this to happen? Well, that is an easy question to answer. God is God and He can do what ever he wants. God can ordain and allow everything that comes to our door step. Think of Job,he had no idea why his world was falling apart. We are blessed with a special behind the scenes view of the whole story. Continue Reading…
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Faith, hope, doubt, and faith in the mist of God’s Sovereignty
I finally found out… (a quick yet pointless rant)
There was a point in my life that I lived without MySpace and relationships.com. I was content to know that these sites existed but I was never compelled to join. Now I am checking out both of these sites many times a day and constantly changing them. Recently someone who may remain anonymous (DOZ!!!!) invited me to join Facebook. I have now found the dilemma of life. Continue Reading…
Pain from a far as I pray for people at Virginia Tech
Why… I am crushed to hear of all the pain and death that happened today at Virginia Tech. In my life I have wondered why does this happen. Today is no different. Sin is alive in the world and God ordains or allows things to happen for His greater good. That is little consolation to the families and friends of this victims but all the same God is still there. May God sustain the people of Virginia Tech tonight as they cling to what hope they have. May they find hope and assurance in God.
The Ten Commandments movie makes me wonder sometimes
How is it that the people of Israel while in slavery in Egypt saw all the miracles of God and yet kept turning away. I just watched The Ten Commandments and it struck me as interesting how people who had tangible proof of God in their midst still strayed from Him. It is happening in my life every day. I keep straying from God and turning to desires of the flesh. Well it is a fact that sin nature has poisoned us but I think there is something much deeper happening. Continue Reading…
Life, Pain, and Hope from a relentless restlessness
My mind is relentlessly restless tonight. I am sitting here not able to move… or not as I want to. Is there any hope for the world today? Have we as a culture become too busy to think about life, pain, and hope? I look at my digital life and find that I spend a lot of time browsing, playing, listening, and e-mailing. That is not necessarily bad, but what am I forgetting?
The bar has been set in my mind. I work and toil to reach the bar but when it seem within my grasp I trip and fall back. I measure my life from failure to failure. When did I enroll in this rat race? Is there a need to put on a good show as a christian? Is there a bar to be reached?
Christ came to the lost and found department of this world to claim as His own my lost, discarded, forgotten, and broken life. What a thought that is. Continue Reading…
In the deep lost of my soul I have a God-shaped hole
It is amazing to see how much this latest surgery has actually hurt me. My body is healing and doing great. Yet my soul and hope has shattered by the relentless pounding and it hurts. I have been turning to everything but God for comfort. I am angry at God in some respects. So with that mindset you can understand how this last week has been long. I have made some really stupid choices to try to fulfill that aching hole in my life. As Audio Adrenaline put it I have a God-Shaped hole in my life. Continue Reading…
A Prayer For My Life – Brighten My Heart
Sixpence None The Richer – Brighten My Heart Lyrics
My heart is as dark as the soil sodden with winter rains. My soul is as heavy as the peat freshly dug from the bog. My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds. My body as tense as a cat’s as it stalks its prey. Help me open my heart to You, help me open my heart to You, help me open my heart to You, oh Jesus. It’s what I long to do. My heart is as dark as the soil sodden with winter rains, Lord, brighten my heart. My soul is as heavy as the peat freshly dug from the bog, Lord, lighten my soul. My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds, Lord, still my thoughts. My body as tense as a cat’s as it stalks its prey , Lord relax my body.
I feel awful but God still reigns
I’m home from a stay at the hospital. I will post more specifics later. I really ache and have a fever tonight. My soul is weary right now. But God knows that and is caring for me tonight. Through all of this the truth remains that God is God and there is peace in the storm of life because of my Truth.
A new toy – Apple TV
I have discovered a new and entertaining way to play with all of my music and movies in iTunes. My Apple TV showed up yesterday and I have really enjoyed playing with it. I am always amazed at what Apple comes up with.
Today I am going to try to get to a movie by myself. The biggest trick will be getting out of the car on the crutches and pulling out the wheel chair. I’ll let you know how it goes. Continue Reading…
Clawing my way back as I fall again
Well the deep fear and dread of knowing that I have to have surgery again have passed For now at least. I know that God is working this for His glory and I am thankful that he is allowing me on this journey of a lifetime. Please keep me in your prayers (as I know you have) while I try to continue on with my healthy eating. It is hard because I am not able to get the food myself any more. I m eager to see what God has in store for me during the next few months.
P.S. The Royal Guardsmen are awesome!
