Hey God how are things going? You know I can finally see that you are asking me to let go of my desires for my life… I really find that difficult to do! I see things in life that I want and they seem like the best thing in the world. -BUT- I am reminded of every other time in my life that I thought there was a perfect thing that I wanted that was not so perfect after all. I need your help to let go and not desire anything but you. It feels painful to follow your will Lord but in the end it is best. Waiting for your time… -Me
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Letting go of the past to embrace the future by the Grace of God
Here is the deal, my bone is broken and it’s great
So i went to see the doctor today. I have a small break in a bone behind my big toe. So that is actually really good news. It is not a weight bearing point of my foot so there is nothing that really needs to be done. I will have more pain in that part of my foot now but i can rest easier knowing that i am not causing more problems.
Certain uncertainty returns as life passes by
So here is my problem. I have been increasing my activity recently and really feeling good about my workouts and time hanging out with friends. That is not the problem. I am afraid that I might be at the start of another setback. I have not sensation of touch in my feet yet sometimes I feel pain, that can be a fake pain from my nerve problem or a major problem that has happened. I can never tell those pains apart. I feel some pain in my foot that has been lingering for a few days. Continue Reading…
Walking on toes while taking drugs
Have you ever noticed that life seems to always be running far enough ahead of you that you never catch up. I have a broken toe. Yeah that little incident that i had a few weeks ago did more damage than I thought. I broke the toe right where the doctor fused it in March. The funny thing is that I feel totally indifferent about it. I figure that it is just a minor thing compared to everything else that happens. I found out that what i thought was a small cut on that toe was actually a deep tear that went to the bone. I am so happy that I can’t feel that at all.
On the mental front I am starting to feel normal again… not that i have ever been normal. I have been trying to cut out all pain med out of my system and so far I have cut down the amount I take. I know that my body is in a slight state of shock over the change but I know that it will be best for my health. Continue Reading…
Illness, sorrow, and despair while trusting God and asking Him why
I am frustrated because i cant see the doctor til tomorrow. My biggest fear right now is that i will have to have surgery to pin the toe. I seem to know when something is wrong that requires surgeries and i have that feeling right now. How many emotional beatings can i take? I feel so beaten down right now both physically and mentally. I think people can not fathom what I feel and cannot understand how a soul can feel so beaten after 5 years of relentless illness, sorrow, and despair. Continue Reading…
Quest for Authentic Manhood bible study
I have finally taken a step to know who I am in Christ again. I will be attending a mens bible study at Elmbrook Church on wednesday mornings. This study will be a great time for me to get to know myself again. I know that I have not blogged in a while and I really hope to keep things going again.
I have been working out again with my trainer and I am noticing a great improvement in my energy level. I am trying to get to a point where i am working out at least twice a week please be praying for me that i can do that.
Laters
The road less traveled
I feel like I have been traveling down a road that has never been driven on before. There are a lot of new things to see and experience on this road some good and some bad. What I have forgotten is that as this journey down the road continues I am not driving the car. I am in the passengers seat. My job is to enjoy the drive and I think I am.
What causes feelings like this
Why is it that you can have a great day yet still feel as empty as ever? This afternoon I officiated a wedding for a good friend of mine. It was a good time to see friends that I have not seen in a long time. Yet every wedding I go to just reminds me that I am single and have never loved anyone. I look at all the cute girls and wonder if I will ever find someone. It is in Gods hands yet I wonder if he knows how I feel.
