I’m in a mood right now where I am bitter, angry, and a little depressed about life. I kind of wish for death right now in a non-suicidal way. It would be so much nicer to be in heaven than here on earth. I can’t say where this weariness comes from but all I know it is here right now. I know that God is still in control and that He will meet my needs but right now I am struggling . I feel like I am stuck and in a room with no doors or windows. What am I doing in life? Where am I going? I have absolutely no idea. It is driving me crazy. I would just give up but that is against my nature. What is really weird is that earlier today I was feeling normal and happy. Life will seem normal in the morning but for now I am waiting for a good night sleep so I can forget life.
I think it is easy for christians to always project a happy face to the world. I know that I don’t have everything figured out and that there are down times of life for me. If we as christians were transparent about the tough times of life what effect would that have? I think the moments where we feel down, depressed, embittered, and angry about life are the moments we truly find out who we are. The feelings I have right now are just fleeting and I am thankful for that. I know that I am weary right now but God is still the same. Even in writing this post I find the bitterness, anger, and depression lifting. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness.
