I am in an interesting place right now; I feel bashed, bruised and hurt. I find the lyrics to Charlie Hall’s song Marvelous Light express everything I am feeling.
Marvelous Light – Charlie Hall
“i may be down but i will rise
it may be dark but God is light”
I have come through so many surgeries one after another I wonder why I can go on. I keep getting bashed by waves and I think that I will crumble and break with every hit but I never do. I find my self in a dark moment but I know that the ultimate light is God and I can rest in the midst of my circumstances.
“Sin has lost it’s power
Death has lost it’s sting
From the grave You’ve risen, Victoriously.
Into marvelous light I’m running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the light, You are the way.”
How many times I tread the paths of sin yet it does not have any power over me. My problems in this life have now bite or sting to me. Even if my current circumstances were to lead to my death. That is not the end because Jesus Christ my Savior rose victoriously from the dead.
This life I live today is only possible by what Christ did. I am worthless with out that saving grace God gave. Many times I may find my mind dark, hurting and clouded but I am always running toward the light. The darkness cannot stand against the Light. For that I am thankful.
“I once was fatherless
A stranger with no hope
Your kindness wakened me
Wakened me from my sleep”
A lethargic state of mind is not a place where a person wants to exist. I remember when I awoke from that mind set where I didn’t care about God to one where He is Abba Father. Why God chose me to bring Himself glory I cannot say but I am thankful.
“You’re love it beckons deeply
A call to come and die
By grace now i will come
Take this life, take Your life
My dead heart now is beating
My deepest stains now clean
You’re breath fills up my lungs
Now I’m free, now I’m free
Lift my hands and spin around
See the light that i have found
O the marvelous light, marvelous light”
How thankful I am for that beckoning love that God expresses to me. Can I approach God and know Him? I am constantly losing focus and not seeking God but He is the relentless force of my life that never fails or recedes. Thank you for that Lord. I long for the day when I will actually see Your marvelous light. Until that day help me! Help me please!
I sit here tonight and I am passionately praying. I cannot express the turmoil I feel in my heart and I do not know exactly what I’m praying for. I am passionately asking God for help because he knows exactly why I am praying. When I think about the praying I do not find myself praying passionately. Passion is a strong barely controllable emotion which is what am experiencing right now. I may be doing things like writing this blog post, listening to music, or reading a book later but my mind in not dwelling in these activities. My soul is crying out to God for help! I know God is faithful and will answer my prayer in His perfect way. What an awesome form of worship this is! I have many times taken prayer too lightly but not right now. 
