Depression induced apathy in the midst of life’s trials

Have you ever found yourself hiding in life. Many people have probably been wondering where I have been and why I have not been online much. To put is simply I have been very down and sad you may even call it depressed. I have been spending a lot of time reading and playing video games as of late to help me through this hard time. I have no desire to seek God right now. All I feel I can do is exist and that at times seems like something that is beyond my reach. Enough on the generals… You may wonder why I am so down right now, let me share with you.

I hate waiting to heal. I just HATE it! I am so sick of this I am angry with God a little I guess. Why, my life is not worth all this? Add to that feeling that my dad died 3 years ago June 29. I wish I had him here to get support and advice from. I need him right now. Then there may be a chance that my neuropathy may be progressing to my hands. Well sad to say that seems on par with how my life is going. (I sure am cheerful tonight!) I will be seeing a specialist at the medical college to give me the facts about what is happening. I almost don’t want to bother starting to gain a normal liffe because I know that it will never work. Something will happen and i’ll be having some major medical issue in at least 6 months. This is why I have been avoiding everyone as of late.

Well I just wanted to rant a little bit. Life is tough right now.