In the deep lost of my soul I have a God-shaped hole

It is amazing to see how much this latest surgery has actually hurt me. My body is healing and doing great. Yet my soul and hope has shattered by the relentless pounding and it hurts. I have been turning to everything but God for comfort. I am angry at God in some respects. So with that mindset you can understand how this last week has been long. I have made some really stupid choices to try to fulfill that aching hole in my life. As Audio Adrenaline put it I have a God-Shaped hole in my life. I am on the up swing of this latest surgery and I know that in the end God is the only one who is constant. I am waiting for my life to level out again as I long to crest this wave to see that light house again. Life is never a glassy sea….. I think if it were it wouldn’t be life.