Emotions are a pain. I feel like crap right now. FYI: The sky is blue. Please be praying for my grandma. She is in the hospital and not doing very well. Praise the Lord that she knows Christ as her savior. So yeah, that is life while your dealing with the side effects of medicines, down and depressing. Fun Fun Tomorrow I’ll be fine, it’s just sucks now.
Archive - August, 2006
Emotions affect me but they do not reign over me
God is the litmus test for fear, hope and love
I sit here at night and I remember a girl I once loved. What triggers a memory? It is easy to get wrapped up into wishing, hoping, and dreaming of what may have happened. I know it was never meant work out but I still ache for that special love of a girl. Why is it that when you love someone deeply that you are forever marked by their memory.
Smalltown Poets wrote a song called “Hold It Up to the Light”. The song expresses the inherent fear in all of us…… What do I do? This one question applies to love, work, church, play, family, pizza, marbles, clothing, furry bunnies, anything. Every moment in our life we make decisions small and large. Instead of fearing about what to do we need to hold it up to the light. God is the ultimate litmus test in our life. He knows what is best for us. That is what I have learned about my desire for love. God said no and I have to trust that decision. God has someone for me and one day I will see that His will was best. Continue Reading…
Weird Al Yankovic’s – Don’t Download This Song is iconically relevant
Weird Al Yankovic has a new song on his myspace site that deserves a listen. In fact if you are at my profile you are listening to it. (unless I changed it, or your are reading this years after I stopped using Myspace) Well anyways the song is titled Don’t Download This Song; it’s an interesting/funny view on the whole illegal music downloading that is running rampant through the web. What makes it even funnier is you can download it from his myspace.com/weirdal site. Hope it makes you laugh as much as I did!
P.S. God is able to meet your needs that you have today. Place your trust in what Christ has done on the cross! Ask me if you have questions about what I mean.
Good news on the life front
Today I called social security and finally found out what was going on. I will be getting social security disability; I am not sure when that will start but that will be a great help. There is still a lot to do in order to get an extension on the cobra insurance I have, but I am confident in God control. I need to have an award letter sent to me soon so it can be sent to the insurance company before 8-31. So that is a huge prayer request! I know that God is in control and that He will provide the insurance that I need. Thanks for your prayers. Continue Reading…
The lot is cast and my confidence is secure
Have you ever given thought to why people in the Bible always cast lots? I don’t think it was their way of starting to support the indian nations. Lots were cast because the people who cast them knew that God was in control of everything. Even down to the smallest roll of a die. There is great encouragement knowing that all areas of my life are in God’s control.
I found out today that Social Security has made a decision regarding my disability, but they are only able to notify me via snail-mail. So this could be a time of worry and torment but I rejoice because I know that God is in control of this and every situation in my life. I think that getting disability would be the best thing possible but God will show me what is best in this next week. I pray that God does not tarry with this.
Early morning update on music, healing, and uncertainty
I am wide awake at 2-ish in the am and I am relaxing to some random Billboard top 100 hits from the 80s-today on my iPod. Listening to music is a great way to clear my thoughts. So on that note here is how my foot is doing…….
I saw the doctor yesterday and I found out what will be happening over the next few months. First off let me say that the Bee Gees are some interesting listening at 2:30 am….. So the doctor gave me two options / scenarios which are as follows. 1) My foot may heal as is with out any extra surgery. This is unlikely by human standards since I have already given the foot 6 months to heal. BUT I know that God is able to do it and I am waiting on Him. 2) I will have surgery and the doctor will put screws and/or a rod into the ankle to help stabilize it. Continue Reading…
Soo… Yeah, life still sucks… Yet, I am fine? (A rant to God)
I am a ragamuffin in this world. I have no hope in myself. I think about all the dreams and hopes that I used to have for my life, and I think I will never know them. I feel like I am caught in a cycle of illness and despair with no way out except when God wills it. I am scared.
The Bible says that God is doing everything for my good. I believe that to be true. It is another thing to know it in your heart. Over the last 4 years of continued set backs I have come to know that God is doing something, but how is this for my good. What future can be found in the midst of this. I know that this world is not my home but I pray that God will grant me peace, rest, and joy in this life. My heart aches right now. Continue Reading…
A long road with my Lord through a valley of despair
So….. I went to the doctor today. Lets just say that everyone there was surprised to see me today. I had an appointment on tuesday and upon leaving then everything was looking great. Today is a new day indeed. After they were over the shock that my foot was moving the doctor tried to figure out what was happening to my foot. the first x-ray showed that everything looked great. Well that was a bit puzzling since I knew that my foot was moving. Next we did a different x-ray called a “stress x-ray” (from the hame you can infer that it is a tid bit painful) which was able to show that the fusion has indeed failed. Continue Reading…
